One Helluva Mommy Break!
Posted by Stephanie | Filed under LiberATE
Last month I revealed Mommy had a thyroid nodule that needed to be removed. Everyone kept asking me if I was nervous about the surgery but I was secretly a little excited about getting a night in the hospital, being taken care of and getting some much needed R&R. And come on, who wouldn’t be a little eager about a few days on some good pain meds. One of my friends always says, “They make the bed so soft and cushy!” It’s a little sad that it takes an official hospital stay for Mommy to have some guilt-free time to herself. These are my deep thoughts about my so-called “R&R!”
Well, the good thing is the hospital staff got right down to business. I had my tail hanging out of the back of a gown within minutes. Enter the Anesthesiologist and the drug talk. Man, does this guy have the jokes, “So is this your 1st time getting your thyroid removed?” I looked at my husband who is far better at faking a laugh than I am. I looked back at the Doctor and he asks if I could use a relaxation shot. “Yes! ” As I thought that might help with my nerves … and the jokes!
That’s the last thing I remember until I woke up in the post-op room. It was a large room full of rows of gurneys and tons of nurses and hospital staff running around. No privacy! It kind of reminded me of military sick barracks. Some patients still asleep, some were moaning and crying in pain. I had dreams of awakening to my husband’s angelic, worried face, having not left my side until he knew I was alive and well (yes, I’ve been watching too much GH). Instead, the first thing I saw was the crotch of a man lying in the bed across the aisle from me. Really? The last thing I wanted to see when I woke up nauseated from all the morphine is some random man’s package!
After waiting four hours in post-op, a hospital room finally became available. And up we went on a little ride to the 7th floor. At this point I’d not eaten in 24 hours and with the motion, the nausea was really beginning to kick in. My nerves went completely out on me on the elevator when another patient who was obviously in a lot of pain was letting the entire hospital know it. When I got to the room, crying myself at this point, I immediately demanded a vomit bucket and for the room to be set on the coolest setting possible. I had a long night ahead of me!
I was sick half the night due to the pain meds I’d been so secretly anticipating. I couldn’t even hold down a cracker. I fluctuated burning up to shivering cold. I ended up having to fire the only nurse who was nice to me. Her perfume was so thick, I dry heaved every time she came in the room. I asked my husband to leave because he seemed to be “conveniently” coming down with a cold and I felt sorry for him. You should’ve seen how fast he high tailed it out of the room when I said the word.
The nausea and pain meds began a brilliant coexistence in my veins around 2am right about the time the infomercials reared their awesome heads. By the way, to all my friends, if UPS shows up at your door this week with a box of mineral make-up, a high-tech juicer, or an ab machine that could easily be mistaken as a kinky sex device … all I can say is Happy Early Birthday!
After a few drug-induced purchases, I fell off to sleep and awoke to the Doctor taking out the drain tube. I’ll spare you those details. Things looked good. What? I felt like road kill. I needed to eat some breakfast and then I could go home. Halleluiah! I explained the nausea I’d been experiencing and he called in hydrocodone for us to pick up from the pharmacy on our way home. About that time my husband bounced into the room having slept exceptionally well all night in our comfortable bed at home. I’m so glad one of us felt good.
So, I’m home. The kids will be at my in-laws for another few days and I must say I’m quite enjoying the new pain meds. I’m very grateful there is no refill because I’m gobbling them up like chocolate covered cherries. I know they are highly addictive. I’m not suggesting anyone ever take them unless they have a prescription from their doctor for a painful slit in their neck. I’m just tickled I’m finally managing the pain minus the nausea and I’m sleeping better (did I mention how comfortable MY bed was?) However, I have been waking up several times a night to my Daughter crying and my Son running down the hallway. My husband likes to call it “Phantom Kid Syndrome!” I like to call it, Howdy from Hydrocodone Land! Y’all come back now ya hear!
2 Responses to “One Helluva Mommy Break!”
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March 4th, 2010 at 8:45 pm
Glad to hear your feeling better! I had Macy via c-section and boy I was so sick that day I almost popped out my staples…fun stuff! Hope your still getting some R&R! xoxo
March 10th, 2010 at 5:25 am
Gosh, that does sound like a spa visit! NO, really….LOL I am glad, though, at least you get a few days at home with out the kiddos around and some form of pain relief to keep you comfy. Feel better soon!
BTW, I popped over from Southern Mommas to check out your blog……….GREAT!