Which Momma are you?
Posted by Stephanie | Filed under SoMo Favs
Let me preface this post with an explanation that this is not the 1st time we’ve poked fun at our Momma friends nor will it be the last. We love all Mommas here at Southern Momentum and if you do not see your silly stereotype listed below please fill free to comment and tell us which flavor Momma you are. Come on, help us out … It’s all in good fun!
Panic-mode Momma: She’s easy to spot because her child is the one at the pool sporting the long sleeve bathing suit with a built-in life preserver and floppy hat that ties under the chin. She has poison control as #1 on her speed dial & knows the 911 operators on a first name basis.
Anti-Sandbox Momma: Number one on her baby gift registry was the anti-germ, grocery cart protector (in Bill Cosby sweater pattern). Anxiety sets in for this Momma at the thought of her child playing at indoor playgrounds or in sandboxes. In the true spirit of OCD, her child, more often than not, will be the only one on the baseball team “without” stains on their pants.
Organic Momma: Some popular items in her household are vegetable-based baby shampoo, organic cheesy snacks, eco-friendly wipes and baby Birkenstocks. On a playdate, this Momma will be the first to pull out Kashi cereal snacks versus standard Cheerios.
Monogram Momma: This gal is the bona fide Southern or Southern wanna-be Momma. Her child will most likely be wearing Lily Pulitzer or something searsucker. The hot pink monogram in the back window of the minivan is another telltale sign of a monogram momma.
Star Struck Momma: She obsesses over anything Hollywood. She tivos E and TMZ nightly and knows more about the Kardashian baby than the paparazzi. Her kids wear all the red carpet knockoffs and usually have fruit or baking inspired first names (Apple, Coco, etc.)
Walking Billboard Momma: Upon pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store, you know this Momma is a republican, has 3 children, a cat & a dog. You know which beach she frequents and that her children attend Little Gym, play basketball, baseball and that she is most definitely the proud parent of an honor roll student at the local elementary school. This Momma bonds pretty well with Monogram momma.
PTA Momma: She is the Queen B of all Mommas. She spends more time at the school then her own children do and would no doubt be 2nd in command if anything happened to the principal. This gal is room Momma, head of the PTA, and Field Day committee Chair … just to name a few. She probably has her own personalized chair in the teacher’s lounge and not only knows the Janitor on a first name basis but also knows the names and ages of all his kids.
Homemade Play-Dough Momma: Simply stated, she puts all of us non-crafty Mommas to shame. Kids love her because she keeps the kids busy during playdates making projects with ACTUAL glitter & glue (something that anti-sandbox Momma would never allow). Teachers love this Momma because she gives the best handmade gifts, thus making PTA Momma a wee bit jealous. She can easily whip up any zoo animal out of celery, peanut butter and a couple raisins.
It’s 5 o’clock Somewhere Momma: This Momma’s motto is “Life’s a party!” She occasionally sports products with sayings such as “Mommy’s Sippy Cup” or “Life Is Too Short To Drink Cheap Wine.” Her kids can use the word “decanter” in a complete sentence and know that “on the rocks” does not involve hiking or mining. This Momma is friends with all the mommas listed above.
Gym Momma: This Momma starts off the morning in a frantic whirlwind as she rushes children out of the house in an effort to make her Zumba or spin class. After 2 hours (time limit for childcare) at the gym you’ll most likely find her at the grocery store breaking yet another sweat power pushing the kids in the race cart … thankfully she’ll still be wearing her spandex.
Yogi Salami Momma: If the strong scent of patchouli doesn’t give this Momma away then hairy legs and Keens most definitely will. This Momma most likely has a few colorful dancing bear stickers on her minivan. She may or may not home school her children, but either way, her kids quite possibly may be the smartest and calmest children on the playground. This Momma is by far the most peaceful and patient person you’ve ever met in your life. You can’t help but wonder what secret is in her sauce …
Leave us a comment & tell us what momma you are and why … we’d love to know!
31 Responses to “Which Momma are you?”
Leave a Reply
May 7th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
I feel like a cereal variety pack Momma. I’m a little of it all except PTA and homemade playdough. I’d have to have some serious secrets in my sauce for all of that;-)
May 7th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
I’d have to say I’m somewhere in between the Walking Billboard Momma & It’s 5:00 Somewhere Momma…. (with just a teensy bit of Anti-Sandbox Momma)… just because I really hate sand.
Anne, you are a little bit homemade playdough… you made 90% of the decorations on your christmas tree this year! That’s impressive!
May 7th, 2010 at 5:51 pm
This is hilarous and totally on the money. As I read each one, I pictured a different one of my friends. I think I’m a cross between Walking Bilboard and Homeade Playdoh Momma.
May 7th, 2010 at 6:48 pm
Tehe….guess which one I am?
I love this! Hope all you SoMo’s out there have a wonderful Mothers day!
May 7th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
A PTA Momma by day and a 5 o’clock somewhere Momma by night:)
May 8th, 2010 at 6:36 am
I decided I am a hybrid of a lot of these. I am sure one day I will turn into PTA mommy, I’m an organic mommy, some days I am 5 o’clock somewhere mommy (esp on fridays!!!), walking billboard (except for the republican part lol) and star struck mama (i LOVE US magazine!)
hahaha wow i have too much going on!!
May 20th, 2010 at 7:51 am
I found this article posted on TimeOutMama.com and had to see it for myself! Love it!
Luckily I am not most of the crazies listed, but I have yogi tendencies (hairy legs on occasion) and it must be 5 oclock somewhere because…, it must be somewhere, right?
Glad I found your blog!
-kelley
July 23rd, 2010 at 7:39 am
Oh, my I just like this article. You made me laugh the minute I start reading this article. Because I have quite a few friends that fall in a couple of these categories, which I truly adore. I am glad you came across this article. It sure made my day even brighter
and I am indeed Homemade Play-Dough Momma, even if I say it myself and you knew as well, just by viewing my blog. LOL
Thanks for sharing.
September 9th, 2010 at 1:10 am
I think I am the Been-There-Done-That Momma… tried to be like Martha Stewart and June Cleaver but kind-of ended up like I Love Lucy for a while… I craft, I sew, I can fruits and veggies… I buy organic when I can AND I have been PTA Prez and Committee chairs and all-around go-to- Gal for 20-something years. I have been using environmentally safe products and recycling since the 90′s.
Let’s face it, by the time you get to kid number 6?
You’ve tried EVERYTHING in EVERY book and now… Hey the kids are clean and fed and use their manners in public. What more do you want?
So yes, I am the Been-There-Done-That Mom
September 9th, 2010 at 1:35 am
Erm, Can we include “Dizzy Momma” on the list? THis momma is always running late and makes the excuse of changing a last-minute pooey nappy with more regularity than all-bran.
Dizzy momma usually forgets what day it is and where she is meant to be. She has long hair because she keeps forgetting to make an appointment for a cut, and she is dressed very oddly because she forgets to put on a load of washing until the kids are all asleep and there are no slean clothes. Dizzy momma is kind and caring, and because she is so forgetful she is great at keeping secrets, because she never remembers what you tell her.
She is also a Wannabe Playdough Mama, but she has glitter-envy because she forgets to renew her supplies so she settles for being best friends with all the Playdough mamas she can find and taking her kids round to their houses to enjoy their crafts and glue.
{that’s me} xx
September 9th, 2010 at 3:46 am
I dream of being It’s 5 o’clock somewhere Momma, but going straight from breast-feeding to pregnant again has really restricted me. Oh well, hopefully in a year or so, I can let my true colours show again!
September 9th, 2010 at 5:36 am
I think I’m the “Trying to find myself” momma.
But I have met all of these other mommas and I think I most closely relate to the homemade play dough momma. But I’d most like to hang out with the 5 o’clock somewhere momma.:)
September 9th, 2010 at 5:47 am
OMG! Sooooo laughing at these as I make a mental note or where my friends and I fit in. Since, my kid has eaten sand at the sanbox and been sunburned bunches this summer, I am pretty sure that I am not one or two.
Anyways, enjoying the posts and blog.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:02 am
Apparently I’m somewhere in between Homemade Play-Dough Mama and It’s 5 O’clock Somewhere Mama – since I make my own wine.
September 9th, 2010 at 6:28 am
Hahahaha! I have GOT to be the Anti Sandbox Momma! And maybe a little it’s 5 o’clock somewhere!!
This cracked me up!!
September 9th, 2010 at 6:44 am
Oh ladies I’m a “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere momma” for sure. Up until literally 3 days ago i was doing the working mom mambo and between the job and the kid a vodka tonic was this girl’s best friend.
Very entertaining post and spot on!
September 9th, 2010 at 7:05 am
My boy is still too young for school otherwise I would be the PTA momma. I am a freak for planning and organizing. I can’t help myself
But I do already idolize the the homemade play-dough momma.
September 9th, 2010 at 7:22 am
I don’t see my type here, although I would love to be the homemade play dough mama. I do like my “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere” moments, I believe the purpose of germs is to build immunity, I am filled with good intentions when it comes to working out or taking yoga classes, and I shave my legs on occasion, when the creature allows.
I am, however, the most patient person known to man. And child.
Happy SITS Day, ladies! Enjoy the comment love today. I had a blast roaming around your blog.
Hanneke
September 9th, 2010 at 7:59 am
Oh this is fun!
Of course, like most well adjusted moms (don’t laugh) I’m a mixture of a few of these gals.
And I’m embarrassed to say I’m mostly the Walking Billboard Mom, with a bit of the gym mom, and a side of Home-made Playdough mom.
Gosh, I’m a drip when you look at it that way. I’m definitely going to work more on being the 5 o’clock somewhere mom!
September 9th, 2010 at 8:08 am
LOL Ladies! You had me at “Bill Cosby Sweater Pattern”! Love your sense of humor and style! Well, We may be at opposite sides of the country, but it sounds like mamas out there are pretty much the same as out here. Guess I’d have to say that I’m a hybrid of the Organic momma (kind hard to avoid that one when you live in Central California), but Birks? Hay’ll NO! Shake in a little PTA momma (I work and volunteer at my daughters’ school), and top off with Homemade-play-do momma (I’m crafty and am always in the mood for glittering something).
September 9th, 2010 at 8:31 am
I’ve got a bit of many of the momma types in me, but I’m most like the play-dough momma, I think. There are plenty of the monogram mommas around me and that part made me about wet my pants laughing.
September 9th, 2010 at 8:46 am
A been there done that Mamma is my variety as i am now an ‘empty nester’
Amusing post. I am here to help you celebrate on your SITS day. Congratulations all the way from Italy:)
September 9th, 2010 at 9:40 am
loved this one! what can I say I am a combination of a few mommas
September 9th, 2010 at 9:43 am
WAAH or YEAH I’m not really any of these moms. What does that make me? Or maybe I’m just in denial?
Happy SITS day!
September 9th, 2010 at 10:38 am
Stopping by from SITS.
I love this! I am mostly the monogram mama with a little room mama mixed in.
Congrats on your SITS day!
September 9th, 2010 at 1:59 pm
I just love your blog! And I’d have to say, after reading this post that I’m a mix between Homemade-Playdough, 5′Oclock-Somewhere, and Walking-Billboard mom. And maybe a little yogi-Salami and Organic momma too! Lol, if that’s even possible =)
Happy SITS day to you!!!
September 9th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
LOL this is soooo funny – ok I would have to pick Walking Billboard Momma, throw in a dash of 5′o clock somewhere Momma and PTA momma but not at school – at work LOL
September 11th, 2010 at 3:18 am
Is there a category for the one with the dirty kids, with mismatched socks, if any at all and lucky if she got her hair brushed today, but still smiling?
October 5th, 2010 at 1:45 pm
I am TOTALLY the 5 o’clock somewhere Moma! My kids think anything red in a TALL glass must be a Bloody Mary without the olives and celery.
The oldest probably knows the difference between red wine and white wine glasses…
OOOPS!
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