The Desperate Housemommy
Posted by Stephanie | Filed under CommiserATE
When we thrusted ourselves into this great big world of blogging, we had no idea that we would soon be mingling with so many fantastic moms from all around the country. This week, we’ve decided to highlight three ladies who inspire us on a daily basis with their witty renditions of their own lives as a mom. You will love our first contributor who joins us from the suburbs of Chicago. She is that nonjudgemental friend you always wish you had. She is … The Desperate Housemommy! We love ya, Sue!
Say What?
This morning at the breakfast table, Twin A said The A Word.
I put down my cup of coffee and blinked, taking in what she had said. I glanced quickly over at her brothers to see if they had picked up on her lingo. It was evident that they had, indeed. I then met her eyes with an even, expressionless gaze. I did not panic. I did not rush to deliver hasty consequences. I did what any sensible Housemommy would do. I responded with, “Hmmmmm. I see. And where did you hear that?”
“Annie and Gina said it at school on Friday. They think it’s cool.” Twin A continued to eat her cereal as if we were talking about something of very little significance.
Well. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I just didn’t think it would be this soon, at the tender age of 8 years and eleven months. My first-born’s delicate ears had been accosted by the one-word thief of youthful innocence: Abercrombie.
Up until this juncture, my only daughter had been content to accompany me to discount stores in order to purchase her clothing needs. Target, Marshalls, and Justice (with a 40 percent off coupon in hand, of course) were our usual haunts. She had never so much as raised an eyebrow when I made the occasional Ebay purchase: A lot of five pairs of Size 10 Slim jeans for $9.99 plus shipping. Score! Hand-me-downs from older girls in our neighborhood? Woo-hoo! Keep ‘em comin’! Twin A was following in my frugal footsteps, and I was loving it.
But this morning, everything changed. Everything.
As my daughter gamely chatted on about Skinny Jeans, Logo Hoodies, and Tiny Little Deer Emblems, I could do nothing to drown out the resounding “CHA-CHINGGGGGGGG!” that rattled around in my brain. Visions of eye-popping price tags affixed to overpriced cami tops swam before my eyes. I could almost literally see dollar bills being flushed down the toilet in exchange for brand-new “distressed” clothing, fashioned to give the impression that it been worn to combat in both World Wars. I had seen the writing on the wall, the telltale signs of fast approaching ‘tweendom months before, but the monologue that my daughter delivered at the breakfast table was the knockout punch that I had not seen coming. My head spun. I clutched at the table for support. I physically steadied myself against the verbal onslaught. Abercrombie! Abercrombie! Abercrombie! The A Word, and its yet to come adolescent F Word companion, Fitch, are destined to become my one-way ticket to bankruptcy.
Desperate? You bet your sweet hoodie I am.
The Desperate Housemommy is an elementary school teacher turned full-time mom who has a gem of a husband, nine year old boy/girl twins and a six year old son. She loves to learn and laugh …not necessarily in that order. To read more, visit her blog at http://www.thedesperatehousemommy.blogspot.com.
9 Responses to “The Desperate Housemommy”
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August 29th, 2010 at 6:08 pm
Ha ha! Great job getting on this cool mom blog, Sue! I’m so glad my kids have no idea about name brands! I have a hard enough time keeping up with Thomas and Toy Story!
August 29th, 2010 at 6:29 pm
I am a loyal Housemommy reader and Sue always makes my day! Great to re-read a “classic” blog!
August 30th, 2010 at 4:19 am
Great pick I really enjoyed reading! I think Ill skip over and follow to read more!
August 30th, 2010 at 6:25 am
Oh I am so glad you posted that, it was too funny….Found yout on Meet You Monday…Love Your Blog!!!!=)
August 30th, 2010 at 11:44 am
LOVED this blog when I read it the first, second, and even now..the THIRD time. Makes me smile every time.
August 30th, 2010 at 12:56 pm
I’m also a local Housemommy follower. Sue is funny, witty and so much fun to read. She puts a great spin on daily things that all of us Mommies experience… or have yet to, at least. The Deperate Housemommy keeps you wanting for more!!
August 30th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
Feein’ the love. Thanks, peeps, and a virtual high-five to SoMo Steph…I love you, man.
August 30th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Clever, funny, and ever so talented – I L-o-v-e reading blogs from Housemommy! The suspense in finding out just what the “A” word was!
September 9th, 2010 at 6:28 am
How funny! Oh the things we’re in store for!