Inspiring Moms to Hit Their Stride
Posted by Stephanie | Filed under CommiserATE
So, I had a baby this spring. And, although my OB “recommended” I gain about 25 to 30 pounds, I decided to be an overachiever and pack on 45. After all, this is baby #2, and I lost the weight the first time. But, there was one detail that I did not take into consideration while eating those Christmas cookies last year … spring baby = fat summer.
I live in a neighborhood that is very family friendly. Actually, just really friendly in general. Under normal conditions, being friendly with your neighbors is a great thing. Not so much when it’s your fat summer. When it’s your fat summer, you don’t want to get to know anyone in your neighborhood for fear they may take notice that you have been wearing the same plus size (4% spandex for stretch) capri pants at the playground for weeks. In fat summer, you hope desperately that no one will recognize you while jogging (I use the term loosely) trying to drop said baby weight in 90 degree temperatures, while sweating pure butter and visibly panting. Don’t even get me started on the neighborhood pool. I lied to my son and told him they were doing construction on the pool for the month of June just to buy myself some time. Curse you, fat summer!
A few weeks ago, my 70 year old mother offered to lend me some of her “jeans” … denim stretch capris with fabric covered buttons on the leg … elastic waist all around. Talk about hitting rock bottom. Evil fat summer!
The doctor says, “nine months on, nine months off” and Oprah tells me to love myself just the way I am … but I find no comfort in any of that when the invitations for swim parties and golf outings and trips to the beach come streaming in. Meanwhile, here I am, standing in my closet wearing nothing but spanx and a minimizer bra praying to the gods of cellulite that I can find just one outfit that does not resemble a tent. Oh fat summer, you are so unkind!
So, as I ride out the last dog days of my fat summer, I remind myself that soon, the sweet cool autumn air will greet me. Then, I will be able to shed my baby pounds discreetly under the cover of oversized sweatpants and long-sleeve shirts, taking comfort in the fact that next year, fat summer, you will be a just a fading memory.
— Written by our wittiest neighbor and friend, Holly (author of Infatuation Gum)