The one where I ‘unsuccessfully’ shove a pill down my cat’s throat
Posted by Stephanie | Filed under CommiserATE
If you are looking for the proper procedure to get a cat to swallow a pill, this is definitely not the blog for you. Run like the wind, cat people.
I share this story, not because I’ve lost my mind or run out of things to blog about, but because somewhere along the way, I’ve learned to appreciate God’s sense of humor.
This, my friends, was one of those days.
My cat’s recent … *ahem, let’s call them “G.I. problems” had resulted in a long, overdue visit to the cat doctor. After umpteen routine tests and the mention of irritable bowel syndrome, I walked out with 20 tiny pills and one hefty vet bill.
2 pills a day for 10 days.
If you have a cat, you’re most likely laughing right now. And if you have a cat, you know that they would rather jump into a swimming pool of rabid dogs than swallow a pill.
However, my husband, The Cat Whisperer, had proved this theory wrong — 3 straight days of “no-sweat,” successful pill dispensing. *eyeroll … You win the prize my dear. Unfortunately, duty called, and he was off on a business trip leaving the kids and I to do the dispensing.
Apparently …
*cue big, BIG dramatic pause
I am NOT the cat whisperer.
Attempt #1: I hold the cat’s mouth open, but miss it all together (too much coffee) … but not without giving him a big, fat clue of what is in store, causing him to leap for freedom.
Attempt #2: Kids are now holding each side of cat while I tend to the mouth. Down the hatch. Well, maybe not. Out it comes with a flick of the tongue, landing across the room.
Attempt #3: Ah-ha! The deed is done. Well, sort of. Instead of swallowing the pill, it is being chewed … Activating a tsunami of saliva.
By this time, fur is flying, the kids are screaming and the cat looks as though he’s been on a 3-day bender consuming my daughter’s 12 oz bottle of Hello Kitty bubble bath.
I somehow was able to detach the 4 sets of claws from my thigh long enough to get to “uncarpeted” territory. I’m no dummy. I knew what came next.
It was not pretty, folks. If I owned any sort of hazmat attire, this would have been an appropriate time to use it.
Needless to say, it was only 8 a.m. and we had all had our fair share of trauma for the day. If my children had any hopes and dreams of becoming a veterinarian, it had disappeared in a POOF of dismantled cat hair.
As we loaded our disheveled cat into the carrier, we had a good chuckle and gave ourselves an A for effort. We decided to look at the bright side — we live close to the vet who was more than happy to do the dirty work.
If there is any sort of lesson here, it is to appreciate the humor life throws at us. My kids learned a thing or two as I look back at that morning. (1) Don’t sweat the small stuff and… (2) Like haircuts and body waxing, sometimes it’s better to leave it to the professionals.
Tags: cats, pill dispensing, vet
4 Responses to “The one where I ‘unsuccessfully’ shove a pill down my cat’s throat”
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January 18th, 2012 at 1:33 pm
I have an INSANE cat who is basically feral. She does not allow us to ever pick her up. If she sits on your lap it is by her choice only. She has not been to the vet in three, count ‘em, three years because putting her in the carrier is a death wish. We have to wear a thick sweatshirt and oven mitts. We also try to put her in a pillowcase and then dump her into the carrier. Otherwise it is impossible to get all four legs into the box. However she pees as soon as we manage to get her into the pillow case. FML.
Good luck and may the force be with you. Cats are crazy town.
January 18th, 2012 at 2:11 pm
Here is my cat medicine dispensing wisdom. For future use.
Crush the pill, mix it into wet food, give to cat. The cat will never know and will polish off all of the food/medicine.
It’s the only way I have ever been able to do it. You can get a pill crusher at the pharmacy or at walmart, or you can place the pill under the rounded end of a spoon will smashing your finger into the spoon.
January 19th, 2012 at 7:57 am
Ha ha!! I feel for you. I had to give my dog thyroid medication for him to lose weight and I could only get him to take it squished in a ball of cheese which I thought is ironically defeating the purpose. I know if you blow in a dog’s face it makes them swallow. Don’t know if that works on cats or not.
January 19th, 2012 at 10:40 pm
That story made me laugh! You gave such good visuals. And OUCH about that clawing your leg!